Independence is One of the Keys to Happiness

I am now pushing my mid-30s and I have just discovered that in order for me to be happy I need to become more independent. Now in many aspects of my life I am extremely independent. I have a job that provides an income that allows me to support myself; I pay my own rent; I recently paid off my car loan; I can make all of the purchases that I want without having to consult anyone;  I make my own decisions without having to answer or ask permission of anyone. I am the Miss Independent that Neyo spoke of in his song.

But …
when the New Year was approaching I realized that I am extremely dependent on others for new experiences. If I’d put a suggestion out there as an activity to participate in and no one wanted to join me I would forego it all together, never doing what it was that I originally wanted to do. This has been my pattern all of my life. If I couldn’t find anyone else to do it with me, it wouldn’t be done.

Last I checked, I have quite a significant amount of control over my life. This includes my happiness. I came to the realization that I was giving others too much power over my happiness. Maybe they knew this; maybe they didn’t. However, I realized it and I had every intention of taking back that control and power. I realized that if I wanted to do something that interests me why wait for, or expect someone else, to want the same. It wasn’t their idea. So I came to the conclusion that I would use that simple key to unlock my happiness: True Independence. This key would unlock my ability to build on my happiness by going to the movies my myself to see a silly chick flick that no one else cares to sit through; this key would unlock my ability to travel by myself when no one else can afford it or has the time, this key would unlock me sitting at a nice restaurant to enjoy a meal and practice mindfulness; this key would unlock me going to see a play or performance that no one is interested in other than myself.  

I actually used this key this past weekend and loved it. I attended the Annual Cherry Blossom festival near my home and truly enjoyed myself.  I did invite someone, but on the day of the event they did not feel up to it. I had already determined that I was going, even if I had to go alone, and I actually did. I took pictures, strolled, people watched, and conversed with people. I might not have had the same experience had I gone with someone. I would have been less likely to just sit and observe because I would have been engaged in the person that I was with. It was an enlightening experience and it showed me that I do not need to be afraid of being alone because alone does not equal lonely.

I am on a journey of happiness and while on this journey I plan on pulling out my key of independence more often.

What is one of your keys to happiness? Share in the comments.